Management

Knowing the basics of effective conflict management is one good way of dealing with conflicts that cannot be resolved quickly or easily. Conflicts, as we all know, are part and parcel of life and career. They may sometimes be resolved quite easily. Sometimes, not. Difficult or fluid conflicts often lead to unmanageable situations.

It is, therefore, important for conflict prevention and conflict management to be put in place before conflicts hit the roof. This will help us to preserve our personal and work relationships. Conflicts that are resolved amicably have a positive effect on our work, health and well-being.

The Long & Short Of Conflicts

Interpersonal conflicts, for instance, when not managed in an effective manner, can lead to a splurge in eating, abuse of alcohol and/or smoking. It has also been found that such unresolved conflicts can lead to the return of an original problem. One example is — getting into the smoking habit with a vengeance after having kicked the habit.

Reason enough why knowing the basics of effective conflict management is extremely essential for our physical and mental well-being. It does not matter whether you are at home, office, or elsewhere. It would do you a world of good if you follow some common processes and put them to work for you and others. This will, in a majority of cases, also reduce the risk of differences getting the better of your and others’ emotions or logic.

There are as many techniques for effectively dealing with conflicts as there are conflicts. They have all produced tangible results in as diverse areas as politics, business and marital counselling, the corporate world, and healthcare, or think of what you may.

The best part is — these skills can be learned, and with practice they have been known to help people move ahead, besides allowing either party enough reason to smile.

Perspective Essential

Research has shown that it is what you think about a situation that will affect how you feel. Experts also point out that it is not only external circumstances that reveal whether you are happy in life or not, but also how you read the given, or not given, situation. It is important for you to, therefore, bear in mind what your perspective of the situation is. This will have a say on how or what you feel about it. In other words, it will help you respond to a situation effectively. For example, you need to separate a situation you think amounts to a personal revenge — for something that may have happened for no real reason, or your/someone else’s mistake.

Invest In Healthy Relationships

It goes without saying that our interactions depend on the framework of a relationship model. When relationships are strong and healthy, it is likely that people, even in the face of conflict, underplay a tricky situation. This will avoid a showdown, as it were, in most instances and not allow conflicts to take an ugly turn. In other words, investing in healthy relationships is quite like investing money in a reputed bank. Also, the stronger the existing relationship, the better it is to put down disagreements without causing ripple effects on either side of the “fence,” if not divide.

Scan Problem Areas

All of us have our idiosyncrasies, or peculiarities — enough reason for us to blow the roof. Once this happens, feelings of anger, unfairness, injury, insult or hurt may run wild. If one becomes familiar with one’s problem area as far as anger or resentment is concerned, it will allow one to be aware of what may actually help them to deal with differences successfully.

This ain’t easy, but it is an achievable idea. All you need to do is find a different perspective to yourself. In other words, you need to know how to keep on “hold” your physiological response to your anger or angst.

In addition to this, you need to deal effectively with resentment by way of reflection, not reaction. You need to act; not react. Put simply, this means you need to think through a situation. Not go for someone’s jugular, including your own! When you do this, with perseverance, you will be able to balance your emotions sensibly.

Your Conflict Management Plan

• Don’t be in a hurry to remedy a problem, when you are the affected party, or “opponent,” or asked to tackle a conflicting situation, or when invited to don the role of a referee.
• Think of problem solving as a course of action at a further stage in the process before doing anything.
• Try to bring to a halt the tensions between you and your antagonist. Or, the two parties — more so, if you are playing the role of an umpire. Try to promote understanding between them.
• Remember that understanding is fuelled by empathy.
• Remember, when a person understands the other person’s views and does so with respect, it immediately leads to a resolution of conflict.
• Remember — you need to be a good listener, more than a speaker.
• Listening will give the right signal — you, your “aggressor,” and the parties, if any, will all feel that they are being heard.

Be Impersonal

This is easier said than done. However, you can still give it your best shot. Remember, when you speak about the other party or person, in any conflicting “story,” avoid making personal statements or assessments about either. Convey what you feel without drama. Example: “We need to work out something that fits the bill.”

United Stand Best

“United” works quite well for conflicts resulting in a family situation — which is just the opposite of the preceding illustration. What you need to do and say may be summed up, thus: “Let us put our minds together and see what best we can do together.’

Avoid Cynicism

Never indulge in cynicism. It won’t last or take you far. It will also actually damage a given situation and lead to a point of no return. Use your language as a modifying tool, not as a handgun.

Blow The Whistle

If you find the situation going out of control, just allow yourself, your opposite number, or the parties disperse, and cool down their tempers. Only after that you may ask them to return and talk it out. This idea will also help to promote a re-focus on thoughts and provide a fresh perspective on the issue to be discussed by both parties.

Brainstorm To Solve Problems

Once you, or the two parties, have been heard, you may, as an individual, or arbiter, sure think of brainstorming. Brainstorming should take into account all possible solutions — even if they sound impractical. The idea is — get as many solution possibilities as you can. They will all count one way or the other.

Important. It is not uncommon for individuals/arbiters to stumble upon a solution, or a set of solutions, that neither had thought of earlier. So, you need to be watchful! Lastly, if nothing works, allow either party to agree to disagree and vice versa. Everything will fall into place — sooner than later!