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My Ideal Family

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  • Pages: 4
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  • Category: Family

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This is my homework assignment from my Therapist. My next appointment is on Friday. I’ve been thinking a lot about it since he gave me the homework. Which is probabally exactly what he wants me to do. It also makes for a good blog post.

Having my own family is the most important thing to me. My ideal family would be very similar to the one I grew up in. Mom and Dad were married and never argued. I never knew about any kind of financial problems they might be having or any problems between my Mom and Dad. We lived in the same house and I went to the same schools until I was 15, when my Dadā€™s job got transferred to San Bernardino. I had a very secure and stable home environment.

This is the kind of life I want for my kids and myself. Unfortunately, I made a wrong choice for my ā€œlife partnerā€ and never got to have that for my kids or myself. Not that I would take back the last 10 years for anything in the world, because I two very beautiful children out of it. But I didnā€™t choose someone who was stable.

I think this is one of the reasons why I was so attracted to Jerry. Heā€™s lived in his house for 8 years. He OWNED his house. Iā€™ve rented the entire time I was with Joel, so it was nice to have someone in my life that actually owned a home.

So anyways, back on the subject. I already have the kids; I just need a man to complete my family. At this point, Iā€™m not sure if I want any more kids. I think if I loved him enough and he really wanted a child, and we were married and it felt right, I would be willing to have another kid with him since I love being a mom so much.

My ideal guy would have a career. It wouldnā€™t matter what he does as long as he made enough for us to live off of, along with my earnings. He would be attractive, a hard worker, caring, giving, affectionate, fun, spontaneous, and love me and my kids unconditionally. He would have to learn how to deal with me without fighting with me, for I can be very emotional and tend to over react. He would also listen to me and value my opinions. If we have a difference of opinion, he would listen to my point but also give me his without getting mad at me (or me getting mad at him, which I really need to work on) for having a difference of opinion. My guy would come home to me every night, that is, unless there was a very important reason why he couldnā€™t. He would help me with the household chores such as cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc.

This ā€œIdealā€ man would complete my family. We would live in a nice house, the kids would have their own bedrooms. We would do all kinds of fun things as a family, but me and my man would also have our alone time to grow as a couple. We would be supportive and encouraging of each otherā€™s dreams.

I think I have a lot to offer my significant other. I have all the qualities that Iā€™ve listed above with the exception of the stability. But for now,Iā€™m going to save my money so I can buy a home for me and my kids to live in. Weather it be a mobile home or a house, I want to own the next place we live in. Thatā€™s a dream of mine that Iā€™d like to come true. But I know it wonā€™t come without self-discipline and a lot of hard work.

Jerry posses about 97% of the qualities listed above. The 3% that doesnā€™t work for us is the fighting. I think my biggest flaw is my temper. I donā€™t know how to argue without getting really upset and wanting to leave the scene. I would push Jerry away when all he wanted to do is love me and hold me when we were arguing. I get so angry I just want to withdraw and run and cry. This is something I need to work on more than anything if Iā€™m ever going to have a healthy relationship with anybody. I donā€™t treat my kids or my family this way, only my partner. Why is that? Why do I have to get so upset with that person to where I donā€™t want to be around him, even when heā€™s trying to calm the situation? I lose all rational thought and I have so much anger inside me, I just blow up. I didnā€™t learn this from my parents because they never fought. I guess this is why I need therapy.

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