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Albert Ellis: Accepting Men as They Are Essay Sample

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  • Category: gender

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Introduction of TOPIC

In Albert Ellis’s, The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Mating and Dating (1979), he states it is a fact that most males are more interested in sex from love, that they love after being sexually satisfied rather than before going to bed, as females often do. He believes women should accept men as they are: sexually demanding, less devoted to the children, less warm and romantic. Ellis states it is the natural act of a man to be this way, as these traits make up a man. He states it would be pointless to fight him for being the way he is and should just accept it. While doing so, Ellis is on the side of the women’s, as he is writing this book towards females to help them in mating and dating. I, however, do not believe in his views from this excerpt. Men are in fact capable of being changed by women. Men are not always more sexually demanding from women. Men are not only interested in one thing –sex.

Albert Ellis states it may be pointless for a woman to try to change a man as it may only end up changed slightly. I would have to disagree with his statements as there are numerous examples of men changed by women. For example, a homeless man has lost everything including the love of his life, his wife. When asked in an interview, the man stated he was never romantic, and never as loving. However after losing her, he realized he was foolish and would do anything to have her in his life again including buying roses, cooking dinner, what ever it may be as long as his wife could still be here. A man’s story like this can even prosper and change another man’s views as he wouldn’t want to lose his wife, the single most impor

tant thing of his life. There are also many men who have witnessed first hand a failed relationship,

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whether there was no more spark, or where the man stopped trying. The woman leaves, and the men regret it. Thus, many ways a man can change by his loved one.

Albert Ellis also stated that men will always be more sexually demanding from a woman. This is truly false as there are many outside factors that may affect it. There is a saying that men are rather more blunt or open from woman about their sexual desires, but woman in the inside are more sexually demanding. Females have been known to be more hormonal from men as they have to experience monthly periods and such. If doing so, her hormones may be extremely high whereas she may request sex often, as sex can be a remedy for stress. A man can only handle so much, especially when a man is able to orgasm in seconds whereas women may take hours to do so. There are also conditions where women develop into a nympho, one who cannot live without sex. As stated, a man can not always be more sexually demanding from a woman. Albert Ellis believes it is perfectly proper for women to believe men are only interested in sex or all men are selfish. However, the truth is, there are other males than the ones portrayed by the media. There are many cases in which men actually love their women not just for sex, but for everything about her.

My close friend Colden once said, “The way she laughs, the way she talks, the way she simply is, just inspires me to do what I do and to continue on with my life. It would be a false statement to state “all men are selfish.” Some men have spoiled their women everyday like they have barely met. Whether its buying roses, cooking dinner, or simply taking them on dates, men are not selfish. As for the statement that all men are only interested in sex, what about the men who were born deformed or people who have lost their phallus in some kind of accident. Some men may have lost their penises whether surgically, testicular cancer, birth defect, or torture. It would be absurd to say men are only interested in sex. These men are surely able to love a woman clearly even without the ability to have sexual intercourse. Albert Ellis views are indeed an interesting candidate of thinking “men are only interested in sex, and all men are selfish” as how the media has portrayed the idea to be. Movies with masculine men as players having one night stands where the “goal” of a man to score for the night. The fact of the matter is that in reality however, not all men are how the media or Ellis portrays. He may believe in his views and think women should accept men as they “are”, but there will always be people who think differently including me.

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