Anyway, I really did go home after the carrousel. Firstly, Phoebe and I walked over to the pond and we sat and watched the ducks, you could see where the ice was starting to form around the edges of the pond I still didn’t have a goddam clue where the ducks go when the pond freezes over. After a while I could see phoebe getting cold but she didn’t wanna say, so we walked out of the park onto the east side, and took the bus to Grand Central, to get my goddam Gladstones out of the strong box there. Though it had stopped pouring out, I was still pretty wet. Boy, it rained a lot in New York while we were waiting for a cab Phoebe said that she was happy I could stay and see her in the play. To tell y’all the truth I’m kinda glad that I stayed and saw her in the play. I asked Phoebe where she thought the ducks went when the pond froze over, she said she didn’t know. I lit up a cigarette, I must have smoked ’bout 10 packs since I left goddam Pencey.
Mom and dad weren’t too pleased when they found out about me leaving early but they took it ok taking all things into account. Phoebe took the day off and we decided to take a cab over to Ernie’s. I thought maybe I could give old Jane a buzz, but when we got there, the place was packed full of phonies, even at four in the goddam afternoon. Phobe and me got a decent table coz I flashed a few dollars under the waiter’s nose. I had bourbon and Phoebe just had a coke. Old Ernie was playing away he still put in all of his goddam fancy twists at the end which drove all the goddam phonies mad. After ’bout half an hour Phoebe took a cab home and I went over to Central park.
I just sat on the bench and watched the ducks messin’ around. Then it started to get dark and I went back home, I started thinking about Allie…. Even D.B had sold out to the companies in Hollywood and was making cheap movies.
I took a cab back to the apartment and went straight to the garage, I had Allie’s mitt on. I started feeling dizzy and then I knew I had to be with Allie, I knew there was only one way I could be with Allie. I walked down to the pond and took out one of the shards I’d picked up from the garage and started thinking about the ducks; where do they go in winter….?
The next day Phoebe found Holden’s suicide note it was called “A Catcher in the Rye.” It was the story of all the crazy stuff that happened to him last year. Phoebe knew he had to be with Allie.