I am honest. Telling the truth can be hard for people to do but not me. Telling the truth can be hard for people to hear. But it is the only way for us to better ourselves or to move past an event in our lives. I have seen the affects growing up of how my father lied to my mother and the damage that is can cause. Honesty allows us to build trust which is such an important bond that we build with our family, friends and even total strangers. As I am getting older I am realizing that honest is always the best policy but it matters on how you deliver the honesty. I am disciplined. I am the son of two military parents and I grew up on military bases for the majority of my youth. We had a set schedule for the majority of our lives when it came to getting up in the mornings, how we folded our cloths, when we were supposed to do our homework and more. What I realized now that I am older is the punishments that came when we were not listening to our parents or when we did something wrong were necessary and it is because of that I remained disciplined.
The benefits that I am disciplined is that I work well with others and I keep focused on the task at hand no matter the distractions which makes me a very hard worker. I am empathetic. I have always been a terrific listener for friends, family and even strangers and I think this is why I get along with anyone. No one ever wants to be alone for their entire life but it is hard for people to open up with their emotions especially men. But we all need to in order to relieve stress our find our path in life when we are lost. When it comes to being independent or interdependent I would say that I am mostly independent but the benefits of having interdependence far out weight my independence. I have a great job I can work out on my own and play video games for days if I had the time. But my interdependence needs are when things truly get tough and yes I guess we all go through rough time by ourselves but it is so much easier have someone to push you or to lean on during those hard times in life.
My wife is without a doubt my greatest companion and friend and we encourage one another in our personal pursuits and have respect for one another’s opinions. I am a very confident person and I attribute that with knowing when I have done my best and succeed and admitting when I should have tried harder. I do not blame my failures on others or because of a particular situation. I believe that I create my own outcomes and if something does not work out for me I see it as a challenge to try harder next time or go about things in a different way. I have a problem with self-serving bias because it teaches your children that they do not have to accept the consequences of their own actions. When it comes to my locus of control I believe that I have an internal locus of control. I believe you are in charge of your own destination. Too many times in life people want to blame their failures on things that may have happened to them as children or because someone else is responsible for stopping them from their success.
I believe that if you have goals you want to achieve you can achieve those goals. It may not happen right away and may take hard work but successful people do not quit when the going gets tough. I will be the first one to admit that confirmation bias plays a role in my life. I tend to be more liberal politically and I do not allow myself to view more conservative news channels. I like to watch liberal talk show hosts because they tend to confirm my beliefs in people and situations. I tend to enjoy being around people of the same political sways. Talking with others who agree with me politically seems to help justify the way I feel about more conservative politicians. I was raised going to church and my parents were always telling me that God would answer your prayers if you would just ask him for what you need. As I became a teenager I became more skeptical of religious beliefs. I just assumed that my parents just wanted me to believe in God because they did.
Now as an adult I have focused my life greatly on science and the reason that science has such a profound effect upon me is because I can touch is and see it and God I cannot. However when things are tough I do still pray to God and I think that is because I really do want there to be a God. When it comes to gender identity I believe my parents were responsible for some of that. . Both of my grandmothers were very outspoken and hard working, they raised four boys and had a worked long days in the military. My wife is currently pregnant and we both want to continue working but I do see the benefits of having a parent raise their child. I currently am working toward went to college and got my degree and worked very hard to make sure my children had everything they needed. Both are very proud of me and my daughter has followed in my footsteps with her own independence. I realized that when I got married I had to conform in a small way to have a good marriage. I had to realize that it was okay to depend on my wife for certain things and it did not make me a weaker person.
There were times in my life, especially when I was a single that I was determined not to accept other peoples help because I wanted to maintain my independence. I felt it somehow was an admission that I was not strong enough to take care of myself in life. My wife helped me to realize there is nothing wrong with accepting a helping hand once in a while. Some people believe that laws were made to be broken. I am not one of those people. I believe that it is our duty as Americans to uphold the laws of the land. If we do not like the laws we have the opportunity to try and change them. I have so much respect for those who work to uphold the laws such as policeman and judges. I may not always agree with the outcome but that does not mean I do not have respect for the process. An example would be the right to carry. I work in the armored transportation field so I deal with weapons all day long and with the proper training of firearms the world would be a much safer place. I must admit that I have used the foot-in-the-door technique on a few people in my life.
One of my investments which is life insurance pays me additional funds if I can get other people to sign up for life insurance. So I invited friends and family over in small groups that way I could focus my attention on them to try and convince them that it was for protection for their family just in case something happened. After doing it a few times I had convinced myself that this was ok to do because of the fact that I was helping them protect their family but now that I look back the real reason was so that I could collect a little bit of commission. I would like to say that I am myself at all times and it doesn’t matter who is around. This would not be true. I do not consider myself fake but I do conduct myself differently depending on who I am around. I realize that I want to be in everyone’s good graces all the time but also that I respect other peoples opinions and I have even held my tongue in instances just for other people to voice their own opinions and be happy. Also, when I have gone on some job interviews I tend to act a bit more conservative then I probably am.
I can intimidate some people with my personality so if I really want the job I don’t want them to know exactly how I am until I have landed the job. It has not been that long ago that I had my first experience with social loafing. I remember when that horrible incident happened when a man went into an elementary school and shot teachers and students. So many politicians all of the US were saying that they wanted to ban guns and if guns weren’t around then things that this wouldn’t happen. However no laws were passed and a few months after this horrible tragedy no one was talking about changing any laws. It make sick to my stomach that politicians would speak out just to gain air time and to get there picture in the media. I believe many people who like to exhibit social loafing just need to be called on it and I have no problem with letting people know they have to contribute their fair share. Many people believe that de-individualization can only happen in the presence of others. In fact, this can happen in anonymity.
I have been part of a local forum on the internet where I have seen the mob mentality come out. According to our text book the anonymous nature of these online communities only emboldens the meanness or callousness of the people who participate on these sites (Myers, D.G., 2012). It got so bad when four or five of the anonymous members were verbally abusing one of the new members that did not conform to their way of thinking. I realized I was allowing myself to act just like the rest of the bullies until it occurred to me that they could easily turn on me. Whenever I was attracted to someone of the opposite sex in my youth I never even considered personality types or personal habits I was only concerned about the way women looked. It took me many years to realize what type of person I wanted to be with and luckily my wife was willing to help me through some tough times with my family. Yes physical attraction is important but to me to social qualities of someone is also very attractive if not even more attractive that their physical qualities.
To help sustain our marriage we both work very hard on keeping things new and fresh. We have such respect for one another and never demean one another verbally. It was always very important for us to communicate no matter how mad one may be at the other. We never go to bed angry and always start our day off with an I love you. One of the similarities that my wife and I have are we are both very head strong. There have been many times in our marriage where we cannot come to a solution to a problem. We are both usually determined to have our own way but it eventually comes down to meeting one another half-way. One very important thing is remember it is okay to agree to disagree. There are many reasons why we are the way that we are. Whether it is genetics or social influences we are all different based on the many factors discussed above. There are some things that we can change about ourselves and other things that are fine just the way they are. Understanding more about ourselves and how others respond to us is part of growing up and accepting who we are and loving who we may become in life.