On the 21st May I have a sentence hearing about the murder I committed on the 5th May and I have been informed that you will be the deciding Judge for my future. I am writing this letter to ask for mercy, I understand how serious what I did was, although I had my reasons behind the action. My children also need to be taken into consideration, what will become of them without a mother or father.
My relationship with my husband towards my breaking point was extremely poor. We continuously argued and we were both unhappy in our lives. Soon enough John became abusive, both verbally and physically, his drunkenness was excessive and his vulgar language increased. This was an extremely hard time for me, trying to keep my younger son James, (Jimmy) in the dark about everything.
The worst thing that my monster of a husband ever did was one morning when we were standing out on the porch watching my son ride his new bike, it was so unexpected although how could I ever have not expected it. He lost his balance on the stairs so he grabbed me and pushed with all his might on my shoulders so that I came tumbling down the stairs. All of this happened right in front of poor Jimmy, I feel sick to the stomach that he had to see all of this and his father’s terrible violent moods.
Almost every night John would come home drunk, expecting me to not be bothered by his state. I did though, it actually scared me, the way he yelled and swore at me for being such a bad wife and how he regretted ever marrying or knowing me, it hurt me a lot. Soon enough the drunkenness became a regular nightly affair, I couldn’t deal with the abuse any longer, it began verbally but then he also started to physically hurt me. My family was falling apart; there was no other way out.
Another factor that I am asking you to also consider when you make your decision in the courtroom is my children. What will happen to them if I end up in jail for a long period of time, they will be sent to a convent and have to live without any parents for the rest of their lives. My son is only 11 years old and I want him to have the most normal life possible. So please, remember my son, a child who will have to suffer these terrible consequences without any of his own parents because of what I did.
I know that killing my husband was an awful thing to do and that murder is such an extreme crime. I simply couldn’t think of another way out, divorce was completely out of the question, I can cope with living as a murderer but I could not be free and known as the woman that divorced her husband. The whole family name would be ruined and I as well as my children would be outcasts. Please consider my plea for mercy, mercy for my crime and my children, although I don’t regret my decision because I would have continued to live my day to day life with abuse from my husband. My husband, a man with no honor or respect for anyone in this world but his drunken, violent self.