There’s something you probably never realized…
The reason that you’re friends (and not intimate) with this girl is DIRECTLY related to the things that you did when you first met her. As your relationship developed, you made her look at you like a buddy, NOT as a sexual being.
In order change her opinion, you need to “shake things up” a bit! This means ELIMINATING the specific actions that initially pushed you into the ‘friends zone’. For instance, here are a few things you need to STOP doing immediately:
• Calling her all the time
• Listening to her talk about her guy problems
• Taking her on ‘pseudo’ dates
• Putting her needs in front of yours
• Being the shoulder she can always cry on
You might think this is a bit drastic, but remember we’re trying to completely shift the nature of your relationship. So, it’s necessary to have her completely change the way she thinks of you.
The key is to do these things without coming across as a complete asshole. What I suggest is to simply become “really busy” in your life. Don’t completely blow her off, but let her know that you need to take care of some things for awhile.
Which brings us to the next phase of this plan…
Step 2- Transform Yourself
Now that we’ve removed yourself from her immediate radar, you’re going to work on becoming the kind of person she would find sexually enticing. Whereas you were once her “emotional tampon”, you’ll now become someone who she WANTS to date.
This means creating an attractive lifestyle where she can’t help but be drawn to you!
First, start doing stuff that makes YOU happy. I’ve found that an infatuation with a particular woman often stems from not having a lot going on with your life. By engaging in activities that are fun, you’ll start to gain a broader perspective on this particular woman.
Perhaps she might even be as great as you once thought!
Next, you should start hanging out with more women. This is another action that’ll give an idea of what else is out there. For all you know, there might be someone who is MUCH better than this girl.
Finally after a few weeks, even months, you want to reconnect with your female friend. Call her up and talk about some of the things that you’ve done with yourself. (Hopefully you’ll have a lot of stories that’ll pique her interest).
Furthermore, you want to vaguely mention a few of the women that are in your life. Don’t brag, just casually mention a few new “friends” that you now have. Trust me, this will make her feel just a *little* jealous.
Now once you’re on the phone, make a suggestion to “hang out” sometime. This leads us to the next (and final) phase…
Step 3- Sealing the Deal
The key to a successful meeting (or date) is to do something that’ll connect to the emotional (not logical) side of her brain. You want to bring her somewhere where you she’ll connect the positive feelings to being around you.
So forget all thoughts of a boring activity like a dinner or movie!
Instead you want to bring her somewhere that’ll elevate her mood and make her feel excited! Remember FUN is directly connected to AROUSAL.
For instance, you can bring to places like an amusement park, dancing, exercising, working out, engaging in a sport, watching an exciting athletic game, doing something risky/dangerous, or going to a fun concert.
All of these ideas are great for getting her to move around and arousing the emotional side of her brain.
Now when you’re with her, you want to focus on creating SEXUAL TENSION. Rather than being the predictable, sexless man she once knew, you’re acting like a potential lover.
This means flirting, teasing her, playfully touching her and having fun. These actions are critical because you want her to see you in a completely new light. And since she is already having fun, she’s not going to be in a position where she worries about “ruining your friendship”.
She’ll no longer see you as a friend. You’ll be the exciting guy who can elevate her positive emotions. And at this point, things will naturally evolve into a more “intimate” relationship.
This three-step plan is incredibly effective because it avoids the awkward conversation that some guys feel is the “only” way to change the nature of a relationship. Rather than forcing her to make a decision, you’re subtly altering her opinion of you in a way that’s connecting to her emotional states instead of her logic.