I am sitting by the fireplace and just thinking about life in general when memories from elementary school come flooding back. I am writing this letter to you, because I feel very guilty when thoughts of your son cross my mind. To this day I wish I knew better and stood up for your son when I needed to, because I could have saved an innocent life. Not trying to make excuses, but when I was in elementary school I knew nothing better, except the fact that, you go with the flow or else you become an outcast. I could still clearly remember the first day Matthew started going to my elementary school, and just because he looked different all of us decided he did not belong. He would come to the kids and ask them in such a nice and polite way if they wanted to play with him, and in response kids would say something nasty, no elementary kid should ever say. I remember boys throwing rocks at him during recess, and a bunch of girls standing by and laughing. Yes, I also did stand by and watched, but I never encouraged the boys on or laughed, because I was thought better by my parents. My parents tell me all the time no matter how the person you come in contact with acts, you show your best side to them, because at the end of the day were all the same and no one person is better than another.
One day in particular, I remember Matthew needed to go to the bathroom during recess, and the immature boys decided to take advantage of this situation. They ran to the bathroom, and blocked him from going in. He begged so much, I can still hear his voice so clearly in my head to let him go. Not being able to hold it in any longer he did it his pants, and the situation became even worse. There stood a little boy, in a puddle of pee waiting for some help, but no one came. The teachers yelled at him, and all the other kids at the playground at that time laughed their heads off. This whole time I stood there watching him, and being frightened for my own reputation, and did nothing to help him. The memory of Matthew, this poor guiltless boy that I knew, still haunts me to this day. I truly wish I can go back in time, and change all this and I cannot put it in words how much I desire Matthew was still alive today. So I could meet him in person and tell him how sincerely I am sorry for not taking a stand for him.
Maybe if I spoke out it could have changed everything, and Matthew would be here with us today. Learning about anti-bullying in high school had given me the courage to write this letter. I am and will never stand by and watch another person get hurt like Matthew did, this a promise I make to you. I hope in heaven Matthew can see how genuinely sorry I am, and even as hard as I try to erase this guilt from my heart it will always be there. I am not a parent yet, but as a daughter I can see how me dying like this can become a nightmare for my parents. No one deserves to have someone they love dearly taken away from them the way you and your wife did. I know you and your wife will never be able to replace the comfort of your son, but I hope you take my regretful and remorsefulness into consideration and forgive me. Best Regards.