In the Country of Men: Suleiman’s Struggle To Be a Man

From the oppressive, sun-drenched Mulberry Street in Tripoli, Hisham Matar evokes the young and native Suleiman’s struggle to be a man in the dangerous, political climate of revolutionary Libya. It is the innocent games of childhood, which transform into the arena of betrayal and adult games of conspiracy as Suleiman struggles with the challenges of masculinity and manhood as he absorbs the immorality and violence of the men around him. These struggles to understand the true nature of manhood and the responsibilities and knowledge that come with this burden consumes Suleiman the adult narrator throughout the summer of 1979 as he reflects on the awakening of a child robbed of his childhood, expressed through the memoir ‘In the Country of Men’.

The family home, once the source of stability and love, is the foundation of Suleiman’s struggle to be man, in search of an ambiguous identity. Initially, the male role models, Baba and the men who visit Suleiman’s home such as Moosa, are the core inspiration and depiction of manhood for Suleiman. Baba, the intellectual and theoretical source of concepts of freedom, grinning and proud, draws on the ignominious history of patriarchy awarding Suleiman the title of “the man of the house,” simultaneously burdening his young son with a deluded imagery of a man, powerful, violent and absent, and with the depiction of women, weak and need to be protected. This becomes the ingrained image of a man for Suleiman, in which he attempts to portray.

Suleiman taking Mama’s medicine bottle that was “as big as a water bottle” and “emptying it all” down the sink, illustrates his need to rescue his mother from her illness, as ordered by Baba. However, in Mama’s eyes, her alcoholism is a safeguard, distracting her from the reality of absolute oppression, and Suleiman is the oppressor denying Najwa her escape, thus confusing and enhancing Suleiman’s struggle to be a man and the protector of this “beautiful” woman. This creates an entangled perception of manhood for Suleiman; as he must be the man of the house yet protect his mother from herself, ”saving her” from the oppressive and relentless patriarchy experienced in Libya, catalyzing Suleiman’s feelings of confusion and inadequacy, that he redirects towards his friends.

The backdrop of violence and instability infiltrates the innocence of childhood games, and taints Suleiman’s understanding of what it is to be a man. Suleiman and Kareem’s favourite game of “My Land, Your Land”, centered on taking land, emphasizes that in the country of men, a man is someone who has ownership and strength. Suleiman exhibits qualities of confidence, “before the knife left [his] hand, [he] was certain of success”, accentuating Suleiman’s force and determination to triumph in the game, in a struggle to be victorious over Kareem, who is 3 years older. Suleiman calling Kareem a “coward”, challenging him to prove himself capable of winning, by questioning if he was a “real man”, emphasizes what Suleiman believes a man to be, successful and powerful.

Immediately after Kareem declares that Suleiman is not a man due to having no word, Suleiman defensively retorts “crybaby…girl”, using the power of the word to heighten how a baby is juxtaposed with a girl, both voiceless in a country embedded with masculine hegemony. During the race back home from the children’s school, Kareem exclaims, “the last to Mulberry is a girl” further illuminating that to be a girl, is to be weak and powerless, and is considered a vicious insult. This intensifies Suleiman’s struggles to be a man as to be anything but is to be considered unworthy in Libya.

Against the political turmoil of the “realm of the absolute star” that influences Suleiman’s idea of masculinity, instigating his desperate search and plight for manhood, bravery and heroism. In contrast to the gentle, ideological men in Suleiman’s life, Baba and Moosa, Sharief exemplifies the stench of manhood. Sharief, like a savior, “unlike Mama and Moosa, answered [Suleiman’s] questions. He didn’t treat [Suleiman] like a child” misleading Suleiman to admire and respect him, creating a distorted and sinister perception of manhood for young naïve Suleiman, an image of corruption and militia. Suleiman is overwhelmed by the “weight of the stench that struck [him] as a sign of manhood” surrounding Sharief. He abuses Suleiman’s innocence and struggle to be an adult through manipulating him to betray Baba, for if he had remembered a name to sacrifice in order to gain Sharief’s approval “it would have been spoken”, emphasizing Suleiman’s craving to please Sharief, his new role model, in attempts to portray him manly.

Ultimately, it is within the corrupt society of Libya that values strength, power and absolutism is entrenched within Suleiman, infecting his perception of what it means to be a man, while inspiring him to be just like the male role-models around him, who have consumed such qualities. This instills in the depths of Suleiman the desire and hunger to be a man, no matter the struggle.