The grown-ups must be right mustn’t they? There can’t really be a beastie lurking around in the dark. It makes me shudder sometimes; I must stick close to Ralph. He’s one of the few people who stuck up for me especially against Jack. Life is tough and no one understands my asthma, not even Ralph. My recent asthma attack happened during our last meeting and no one took any notice, I just feel really lonely at times. I miss my aunt, my sweets and my old life, the same can’t be said for some of the other kids especially Jack’s troop. It’s all a game to them, they don’t give a damn whether we rescued or not, just as long as they can hunt and kill. It disgusts me but what can I do? I can’t change a bunch of silly kids; if I try I’ll just get punched again.
Why isn’t Jack punished for breaking the rules time and time again? I don’t think Ralph asserted his authority enough. I’m scared. Jack scares me more than anything else on the island; to me he is the beast, a bully and a savage. He’s got in for me, I know it. He must be planning something; I can just sense it from his eyes. My auntie told me to be careful of people like him, that’s why I stick close to Ralph and Simon, they’re sane, and they know our only real chance of survival is to get rescued. We must make a raft or try to keep multiple fires going; no one cares about my ideas. Ralph is only concerned about the fire, all the other boys including the littluns are off playing in the lagoon and Simon keeps disappearing into the forest. What can I do if no-one listens to me?
I don’t know how much more of this I can take… being in charge is very difficult, thank god I have Piggy. What good is hunting to us when we will never be rescued? I finally understand now, Piggy was right about the need for rescue from the very beginning. To think I was like Jack at the beginning makes me sick, I can’t bear this situation any longer, my dreams are taking hold of me, sometimes I don’t want to wake up, the weight of leadership is difficult to bear but one thing is for certain, I would never let Jack take control, after all, he and the hunters would rather live to become old men on this island rather than get rescued. Why did it have to become like this? When I first met him, we were good friends and now look; his passion for hunting has come between us. He always manages to find a way to relate everything back to his stupid hunting! The castle is not a good place for a place to stay, Jack sees it as a fort, he can only see it being good for using it against an enemy. What I can’t understand is who on earth is the enemy? Surely it isn’t the beastie or maybe it’s me? I must find out…
Wow! This place is wizard! Full of rocks, it’s a great place for a fort. Stupid Ralph won’t let us stay here, the fire he says, is so important. Nuts to the damn fire! I’m not scared of the beastie, I’m gonna hunt it down and kill it. Only I can do this, only I am strong enough. When I show to the rest of the boys that I Merridew single-handedly killed the beastie, they will bow down to me and then… it will be time, oh yes I can’t wait. Hahahahahaha. Hunting is never boring, all the boys know it, the pleasure of slitting the throat of the pigs can never be matched. I love it. Piggy better not get in my way, or I’ll treat him like a real pig, oh what a sight! Piggy squirming around like a pig, it’ll happen soon enough. It’s not fair that Ralph does whatever Piggy wants, maybe that’s it? Piggy is causing Ralph to be this way, I’m sure of it now, Piggy must be got rid of. Until then, I must gain more support.