Me in Person Centered Counseling Essay Sample
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Me in Person Centered Counseling Essay Sample
As mentioned in the hand out “That good life is not a fixed state”, it is a PROCESS, it is a ‘direction not a destination’. A good life according to me and my experiences comes under the process:
1. An Increasing Openness to Experience.
2. Increasingly Existential living.
The two above processes fit right with my life. Just to give a brief back ground here I must state how I was before the two characteristics. My father played a very dominent role in my life throughout, even when I got married, in my mind I seeked for his approval before doing or making any decisions. I would ask myself what would he do in this condition or what would his response be to this. Two years ago I started to really give myself time, give my thoughts time where I would at night just lay thinking what is wrong or rather NOT RIGHT in my life. That’s when I started to become more self-aware and more open to my experiences in my life. Due to mere self awarness I came to understand where the problem lies. I realised that I have choices and I do have all the rights and capacity to make those choices and believe in me. The more I let myself accept my feelings and the experiences, I was able to feel so many things which I never did before, I felt so ‘real’ and ‘authentic’ and most of all independent from the control of others. The feeling of being more confident, and being able to acknowledge and own my experiences, I can see the growth in my inner self.
Now I will share my example of the ‘1st Process’.
I saw an add in the news paper for a “Certification course in Humanistic approch to counselling”, something happened inside of me which urged me to take up this course. I just did not think of anything, I just knew I had to do this course and there is no obstacle that I would let come in my way of doing this. I spoke to my husband about it and he agreed and said ok lets go and find out the requirements. We went to Therapy Works, attended the meeting and came home very satisfied. We went to my parents home to pick my daughter, there I mentioned to my dad about the course in counselling. As always he tried all his knowledge to discourge me, even went as far as to bring my daughters subject , as to who will look after her so on. I than (don’t know what came over me) said to my dad with all due respect dad, this is something I wanted to get into all my life and just to let it go like that would be a mistake for me. I said to him that this is an oppertunity for me to do something I like, I want that it should be my choice only, and for the first time in my life I am not afraid of making this choice, and I am totally open to all the consequences of my actions and I do have the capacity and ability to accept and be able to correct if something went wrong. My dad had no choice to accept my utmost desire.
I was glade that I did not let my dad distort my decision. Now for the ‘2nd Process’. My daughter has not been able to walk in last 3 years due to a bone and a medical issue. She’s in a huge cast (uptill her chest) for last 3 months now. It’s quite difficult to move her around specially when she wants to go for outings. We have this baby pram but for that she has to lay in it and because of laying down she does not enjoy her self when ever we would go out. She always complained I can hardly see anything while laying down. The thought of putting her on ‘Wheel Chair’ always came to my mind but in last three years I just made excuses on behalf of her, that she will get use to being on wheel chair and might not want to walk again when the situation arises. All this time I just could not think of her being on the wheel chair, till the other day we went to Park Tower although we had taken her pram with us, but I told my husband lets see if we can put her on the wheel chair (which is available at Park Tower outside in the main door).
We took the wheel chair and managed to put her on that chair. She enjoyed the whole three hours to her full potential till we were there. She played the games she was able to, she made a sand paper doll, she participated in a Dip & Win contest. Just than I decided that this is her requirement at this moment and while sitting there I spoke to my husband and my daughter and suggested if we buy her a wheel chair for use at home, she can move around easily and will be helpful when we take her out . She was a bit scared in the first few minutes but I mentioned to her that when she’s ok and is able to walk with a walker or by her self we will give this wheel chair to charity. She was quite happy and was all for the idea. I realised that all along those apprehensions were mine, those fears were mine, not my daughters. In all this I believe now that it is important that I allow myself to experience what is happening now and allow myself to respond fluidly to the requirement of today, (which is my daughters need for a wheel chair) rather than react to my fears.
I had to let my fears be aside, to let my pre-conceived ideas transform into the necessity of the moment and just be a participant and an observer of the ongoing process through my daughters experience rather than control. I am sure with the process of self-actualisation completely enhanced I will be able to strengthen the capacity to trust in myself and the decisions I make, and have the ability to be able to react and own my reactions in each new situation that arises, rather than being told what to do, think or feel. As far as the third process is concerned, it will take some time for me to relate myself to that. I have yet to fully trust in my organismic self. In order to be in the third process I need to fully believe in all my senses, and stop worrying about how people will think, and when I am completely able to understand the world of my experiences, feelings and sensation and what it is for me, surely a world which only I can understand.
Person-Centred Counselling in a nutshell By Roger Casemore.
Hand-out on Good life and Fully Functioning person.
Some Information and realisation from the processes we have at Therapy Works. Images from Self Actualization on Web