Resilience in children enables them to overcome adverse situations like parental divorce, poverty, and peer pressure, among others. This characteristic, if not innate, can be nurtured by giving them support. Support can be expressed in a loving relationship between adult and child. Young ones need to feel safe in order for them to strengthen their self-confidence. They need encouragement in order for them to have faith in their abilities. They need to feel loved in order for them to appreciate others.
In the case of John and Gary, both have similar backgrounds: divorced parents, living with mothers, high school drop outs, always in trouble with authorities. In John’s case, no one was there to pull him from his wayward ways. Gary had his grandfather who was constantly showing him love and support. Despite giving in to the rebelliousness of youth, Gary was able to get himself back on track because he saw his grandfather as a solid evidence of a happy, family man. A person he can talk to and someone who not only reprimands but listens as well.
John was not as fortunate. By nature, he was inclined to react negatively to life situations. His natural tendencies worsened since his family life has never been a source of support for him. His mother could not set limits for him. By failing to impose discipline, John was always plunged into trouble. John probably did not find the comfort he needed when faced with bullies in school. He needed to become tough since he felt like there’s only himself to depend on. John also didn’t have any ambitions for to better himself since in his family circle, there was no role model. Without anyone to look up to, John’s natural tendencies were nurtured, turning him into a problem adult. If John were resilient by nature, there would have been a chance that he wouldn’t do as poorly as he did.