Do you believe romantic love is a poor basis for marriage? I sure hope so because in my opinion, there are many other important values you need in a marriage for it to be a success. Romantic love is only a couple of the threads that keep two people together. The foundation of a successful marriage includes commitment, mutual respect and love, friendship, and honesty. Any person yearning for a successful relationship or marriage has to value commitment. Commitment is devoting yourself to only the person you are with and having plans of staying with that person. Commitment is what causes many marriages, successful or not, to stick together and hang on. The devotion involved in commitment for a successful marriage is a two-way street. Both people in the marriage need to have the same plans on staying together and working through their problems. I can’t stress enough, how important commitment is in any relationship throughout life. A relationship cannot and will not survive without equal devotion to one another.
Mutual respect and love for one another in a relationship is a very blissful value. Knowing that a person respects and loves you the same way you respect and love them is one of the greatest feelings to ever experience. It is vital in any relationship or marriage to know and practice this value. For example, a wife comes home from a long day at work with a migraine and her husband takes care of her and comforts her. If it were the other way around would it make sense for the wife not to take care of and comfort her husband? No, when you look at it that way it puts it in a very blunt and simple perspective. In this situation, their mutual respect and love for one another would cause them to only respect and love each other more. If the wife didn’t do the same thing her husband did for her, he would feel the unequal balance in their marriage and they would be in strife.
Having a friendship with the person you are in a relationship or marriage with is very important for success. A friend understands you, catches you when you fall, comforts you during the hard times, accepts you for every part of who you are, and above all loves you no matter what. All of these things should be easy to accomplish in a relationship or marriage. Many marriages tend to end up being like a business agreement, a war zone, or even a parental type of relationship. It is in no way the way you want your relationship to end up. Having a friendship with your loved one will help you become as close as you can be emotionally. For example, true friends hardly ever argue and agree on almost everything. To have that type of closeness and understanding in your relationship will make it successful on so many levels. Honesty is the most important value in any marriage. Honesty applies to everything on a daily basis. Telling the truth about something even so miniscule is crucial in any marriage. Being honest to your loved one will affect the trust they have towards you, the care they have towards you, and even how committed your loved one is to you.
Dishonesty can cause detachment and strife in a marriage. Being honest every time you have the chance to be is fundamental to your marriage. Without honesty a relationship truly will not survive and die off. Just be honest and your marriage is taking a huge step towards being a success. Anyone who believes romantic love is a good basis for marriage is brutally ignorant. Romantic love cannot hold a marriage together. If a person attempts to go into a marriage with the foundation being romantic love the marriage will die off quickly. Romantic love can be timeless, but a marriage takes so much more than being infatuated or feeling “the birds and the bees” with someone.
Sure romance is great and all, but most “romance” in a relationship is really just the honeymoon phase of the relationship that will eventually go away. Going into a marriage with only romantic love is practically a shot-gun wedding. You will not have a successful marriage based off of romantic love. So, please tell me after all the reading you’ve done you agree with me. Romantic love is seriously a poor basis for marriage! Now you know what a successful marriage really takes is commitment, mutual respect and love, friendship, and honesty.