It was a relief to Ralph to be going `home’ even though there was still a war going on. Before Piggy had been killed Ralph had seen him with a book occasionally, and so before leaving the island he made sure to find it and take it with him. The long journey was painful for Ralph as he tried to deal with the guilt he felt for Piggy, so in an effort to confront this guilt he began to read Piggy’s book. Before long Ralph broke down to tears as he began to understand just how much he had lost. January 17^th 1954 We was on our way to seek refuge in some foreign country `cause there ain’t nowhere in Britain safe from nuclear war. We got shot at, and the pilot dropped us on this island before gettin’ shot down. I can hardly say we was lucky but at least we landed on an island, and not in the middle of the sea. When it got light I went to look for other boys, and I met Ralph. I like him, but I think he thinks I am a waste of time. He called a meeting with the conch and he is now leader, `cause he won a vote.
The thing is though, there shouldn’t have been no vote, `cause everybody should want Ralph as leader. But there’s this boy, Jack, and he thought that he should be leader and when he wasn’t chosen he got waxy. So now Ralph has got to make sure Jack stays in line `cause otherwise he’ll make trouble. I can see it now. Every time I say something, like make a sensible suggestion, he just tells me to shut up and calls me `fatty’ or something. In the first assembly I suggested that we should do grown up stuff like take a register (`cause we gotta act grown up, else we won’t ever leave this island), but no one was listening, just like back home. Then, I dunno what Ralph was thinking, but when we first met I told him that they used to call me Piggy and I trusted him not tell the others. But then when we was in the assembly somebody asked my name and Ralph told `em, `bout me being called Piggy at my old school. I didn’t think he was like that. An’ then, as if to rub it in, when asked him `bout it, he didn’t even realise what he’d done. After they’d come back from exploring, Ralph, Jack and Simon; Ralph said some childish things. I thought he’d be more sensible.
He told the littluns that his Daddy would turn up in his ship and rescue everyone. What he doesn’t seem to realise is that nobody don’t know where we are. But later he did have a grown up like idea, to build a fire. The idea was good, but then they all run off like a pack of kids to build a huge fire which don’t give no smoke. Consequently they nearly burnt the whole island before they knew it. We gotta act proper, else what will the grown ups think of us? Although we’ve only been here a day I got this feelin’ that we won’t never get rescued. 10^th March 1954 (though I’m not sure) I hate him, Jack, `cause today we, me an’ Ralph, was on the beach when Ralph saw a ship. I thought we would be goin’ home, cause they was bound to see our smoke. If only we was back home. No more Jack Meridew to thing up, jus’ me and my Auntie, no more `Piggy’. But when I looked, I couldn’t see no signal on the mountain. We didn’t know what to do. Ralph wanted to go up the mountain, but we both knew he’d need me glasses if the fire was out.
He went but I couldn’t keep up on account of my asthma. While I was struggling through the creepers and bushes I heard Ralph. He sounded desperate shouting `Come back! Come back!’ to the ship. Then `They let the bloody fire out!’ My Auntie would have disapproved. Me an’ Ralph, we wanted that ship to come back so much, but Jack, him and his blood, that’s what stopped us goin’ home. If I didn’t have no asthma then I’d be able to show him. His problem is that he don’t think at all. I could tell Ralph was really, really angry, `cause Jack said he’d keep the fire and now he won’t `cause he’s gone off hunting. The fact that he let the fire out was bad enough, but then along he came, up the mountain, leading some kind of chant. – `Kill the pig! Cut her throat! Spill her blood!’ They’d killed a pig and he was well chuffed with himself. What do they think they are -hunters-, they’re no more than boys with sticks. It was inevitable. I could see they was goin’ to get waxy with each other. I wish they wouldn’t though, fight, I mean, grown-ups wouldn’t act like that would they.
What are they gonna think of us if we carry on like this? Ralph confronted Jack `bout the fire goin’ out, but Jack was so proud he took no notice of him. Then when Ralph said again, `You let the fire out.’ Jack tried to defend himself, pathetically; he said that they needed Samneric to complete the circle. He doesn’t understand `bout the fire, he just thinks that if it goes out it can be re lighted. But it’s more than that, the fire is the only way we’ll get rescued, the only way we’ll ever get out of this mess. Jack kept on tryin’ to make everything seem OK by glorifying his kill. Then when Ralph told Jack `bout the ship goin’ past, Jack knew he’d lost and so he punched me. That’s what people like Jack always do if they lose, they resort to violence. He got no brains, I’ll tell you, all he wants is blood. Then he called me fatty and hit me again, just so that he gets a laugh out of his `hunters’.
After that, he says ‘I’m sorry’ and he thinks everything’s OK, and just `cause he said sorry it means we don’t mind that our one chance of rescue is gone. Ralph noticed that this extract of Piggy’s diary was quite messy, as Jack had stolen Piggy’s glasses for the fire. 16^th May 1954 Last night Jack and his `tribe’ came while we was asleep. It was out of line, pinching my specs while was asleep, an’ as Ralph said, if they’d ask for fire we’d give it to `em. Ralph, me and Samneric have decided to go over to his camp tonight to get my specs back, and hopefully put him in his place. In an effort to give Piggy the respect he deserved all along, Ralph tried to complete Piggy’s diary up until his murder. By now Ralph knew just how much he had lost when Piggy died. If only he had listened. The evening of the 16^th May 1954 Entered by Ralph We set off in the afternoon; Samneric and I armed with spears, Piggy with the conch. It was a slow journey because Piggy could hardly see where he was walking, so he had to be guided by Samneric the whole way. When we arrived at Jack’s camp I tried to talk with them to get Piggy’s glasses back while I left Piggy sitting further back, out of danger.
I lost my temper with Jack and in an attempt to keep peace on the island, Jack and I ended up face to face. As we continued to fight, Piggy brought it to my attention that we were there to get his specs and go. Understanding, perhaps for the first time how valuable Piggy and his grown up thinking was I ceased fighting and tried to talk with Jack again. They were not having any of it. They fail to see the importance of the fire. Without smoke from the fire we would never have been rescued. All they could do as I spoke was laugh. The next thing I knew, Jack had ordered his hunters (boys with sticks in my opinion) to capture Samneric and take them prisoner. I was furious, and once again Jack and I squared up. At that moment I felt like I wanted to beat him, like he does to the pigs he kills. But I knew that thinking like that would only lead me to savagery, just like them.
I wish I could think like Piggy, then maybe we could have stopped all of this and gone home when the ship passed. He hit me once or twice, and I was about to retaliate but then I heard Piggy calling, he wanted to speak. What he said next sounded as if Piggy himself were a grown up, making sensible comments and doing the grown up thing. “Which is better – to have rules and agree, or to hunt and kill.” All of a sudden Piggy, still holding the conch, was hit by a falling rock that Roger had pushed off the cliff. In than instant I wished it were I under that rock, not Piggy. The conch was smashed and Piggy was killed instantly. He was the only one on the island who could think. They chose me as leader, and I should have listened to Piggy, but I did not. And now that littluns is dead from the fire, Simon was murdered in a frenzy, and now Piggy. Murdered! Ralph’s final wish as the ship arrived home was that he had never told the others that they called him Piggy, then he realised that he did not even know the name of the person who should have been his greatest friend.