Jack opened his eyes carefully, trying to adjust to the glimmers of bright light shining through the white curtains. He looked around the pallid spacious bedroom and checked the time – 6 am. He cursed his biological clock under his breath, then pulled the covers back over him as an attempt of going back to sleep. But no matter how much he tried, he simply lay there, adrift, with thoughts of Abby slowly sinking to his mind. It was a year today since she had gone to heaven, but somehow Jack still couldn’t believe that she no more. For some reason, he always believed that he would die first; perhaps it was because she was so full of energy, so determined to enjoy life to its limit. While he was nothing but lost, confused, and empty.
Distracting himself from his vivid misery, Jack placed his feet on the white carpet and walked into the colourless bathroom. He flicked on the faint light and splashed his face with water. He wiped his face with his washed out towel, and gazed into the mirror at his light green eyes, wrinkled forehead, and button nose upon his pallor face. For the first time, Jack realised how his surroundings truly portrayed him – all white – and represented the lack of colour in his life.
He stepped out of the bathroom and headed towards the closet on the other side of the room. Jack changed into his murky grey sweatpants and shirt, and swung on his tennis shoes. After he got his keys, he headed out to the park. He reached the gate of the park at 8am, where he took his daily jog every morning. Even though the day was gloomy, Jack perked up as he began to jog upon the fresh green grass. Being a memorable day, he decided to take a new route, as he was feeling spontaneous. As Jack looked to the left, where he usually past the glistening grass covered with sunflowers and daisies, he thought of the numerous times he had dined there with Abby. He remembered that unfortunate day, where he and Abby lay on the grass, feeding each other grapes. It seemed so strange how at the time everything seemed so perfect, absolutely blissful, and how everything changed so fast. If only he hadn’t been so stubborn. If only he had stopped her from-
Oh well, no point brooding about it, Jack thought. As he realised he had to move on, he turned right. As he began power walking, he realised this path was somewhat strange for a park;
Somehow, the dark trees with stripped bark didn’t quite match the grinding gravel on the floor, just as the dark green bushes with fungus didn’t match the coffee coloured monkeys swinging from branch to branch of these trees.
As Jack jogged further, he observed the scattered pigeons flying to the tree branches. He thought of feeding them, but he remembered he did not even have a single piece of bread. Jack continued by climbing up past the homely cafï¿½, and the scent of butter on toast almost made him desperate for food. And just as he thought he couldn’t go on further, he suddenly received a burst of energy as he saw the scenery in front of him. Suddenly, the sun shun so brightly, that the grass was sparkling lighter than the colour of his eyes. In front of the grass was a pond with an arched bridge separating both sides of the glowing water. As Jack stepped forward, he saw that this bridge was made out of gleaming metal, and at its sides poured out a dome-shaped fountain which sprinkled into the crystal clear water, while splashing on the pearl white ducks as they cautiously hunted for food. “Quack, quack, quack” the ducks croaked, and as they swam further they met with other ducks of all types; ochre, caramel, black, petrol green, as well as many other pale coloured. And with the effect of the sunlight, is brightened down the bitter green of the ducks into emerald green, contrasting against its pearl white and dusty black feathers. There were so many of them; some spread around, looking lonesome, while others in groups.
As Jack continued to observe, he notices that at first, these ducks swam in random directions, but as time passed, he saw how they all lined up in a row, and swam ahead on after the other, going round and round in circles, forming different outlines of shapes in the water. Filled with excitement, he moved closer. He saw that each time they swam faster, as though they were racing, playing, as well as competing with one another. Jack viewed that as the ducks moved further ahead, they faced a hut – a home for them. Layers and layers of rocks, pebbles and stones of various pastel colours, all mounted on top of each other, with a hole in the middle, providing a warm place for the to cuddle. Inside, he saw the dark shadows of pigeons, all gathered up together. As it turned midday, the ducks begin to move back to the corner of the pond, by slowing down. And as they disappeared, a single feather was left floating upon the curly water.
Engrossed by the bliss, Jack lay down on the wet grass, kicked off his shoes, and inhaled deeply, letting his mind unravel under the sunshine. He though, I have been here so many times before, how could I not have realised how idyllic this place is? However, Jack’s peaceful mind could not have lasted forever. Once again, thoughts of Abby sunk into his head, reminding him of her death. Why is this so painful? He thought. Flashbacks of those unforgettable moments shot to his mind; laying serenely on the grass side by side, the disagreement… the shouting… the screaming… It was all coming back to him; How Abby ran out of the park onto the street, blocking the cars… how Abby wailed for him to try to understand her… How his last moment with Abby was when he pushed her onto the floor in anger, just as a truck crushed over her bones.
As an attempt of reassuring himself that he was not guilty of anything, Jack closed his eyes, breathing in the fresh eucalyptus air, trying to save each of these tranquil moments in his memory. But as the honking from the busy street interrupted his thoughts, he cursed aloud. Before even noticing what he was doing, Jack stood up abruptly, and began running. He ran past the forest, which was both like a jungle and a rose garden. Jack soon began to sprint, the strong energy released while he sprints emphasises his desperation – the wind flowing past from him causes leaves to swing back and forth, and the eucalyptus air soon becomes replaced by the scent of dirty body odour. As he reached a large deep lake, he stopped breathlessly and looked at the water. He bent down as he picked up a crystal pebble off the dusty ground, and gently tossed it across the water, jumping further and further away from him, creating circular shapes on the water. Once again, he gazed at his reflection; however this time he saw how he could be fulfilled. As he took in the heavenly atmosphere surrounding him, the humming of the birds, the salty scent of the water and the leaves fluttering from the breeze, a teardrop fell.
Letting go of everything, he jumped into the lake, swinging his arms forwards and backwards as hard as he can, allowing him to sink deep inside the lake. He held his breath, and as he slowly drowned, the throbbing in his heart, the churning of his stomach and the constant stinging in his throat had no effect on him other than making him feel alive. The feeling of adrenaline, the chocking of his throat, the ringing in his ears, and the sight of panicking ducks quickly splashing away bring pain to his body – but he took no notice. He longed for Abby, and soon, he would be with her once again. Ecstatic sensations came over his mind, and as he became more distant from the melodious singing of birds, yet another teardrop fell.