Response Phase Essay Sample
- Pages: 4
- Word count: 988
- Rewriting Possibility: 99% (excellent)
- Category: books
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Introduction of TOPIC
Context: Luka is a child who is being abused by his mum and dad. The stimulus for this piece of writing was a song about this boy the song sends the message out that he is not being cared for and he has learnt not to argue anymore or its just gets worst this song is a very sad and emotional song. In this scene he is waiting for his parents to pick him up and his teacher starts asking about his family life and his parents.
Teacher: Your parents are late today I wonder where they are (saying in a interested tone while picking up is books for marking.)
Luka: I can tell you where they are sir (saying this very calmly) they are not here! (Yelling the last words and continually looking out the window for his parents he does this because he is hoping they take longer to get here as the longer they are not with him the longer the abuse is put off)
Teacher: Ok Luka calm down why don’t you have a seat while you are waiting or read a book while I do my marking (he goes and sits behind his desk and gets a red pen out)
Luka: I don’t want to sit down and I don’t want to read a stupid book (he says stepping away from his teacher and throws a book down on a table his fist are clenched in to tight balls to show he is angry he does this to show he is annoyed that his parents never look after him )
Teacher: Ok then Luka will you please collect the text books up so I can do my marking so its ready to give back out tomorrow ( he says looking right in to Lukas eyes and holding up his marking to show him. He says this very calmly the teacher feels that there is something very wrong with Luka he and unless he keeps him preoccupied the situation might escalate he want to help Luka but he does not know how)
p> Luka 🙁 The staring makes Luka uncomfortable and he fidgets a bit
Teacher: (Looking up from his marking and taking his glasses off to look at Luka) Will you stop slamming those books Luka I need to concentrate ( he says getting frustrated because there is obviously something wrong with Luka and he does not know what to do about it.)
Luka: Sorry sir (Saying this very sarcastically he is being sarcastic because he thinks the teacher just regards him as a nuisance as he take another look out the window he then picks another book up goes to put it down gentle the slams it again he is acting like this because he wants someone to take notice of him and see his pain )
Teacher: Luka sit down ( The teacher finally yells, he starts to yell because he feels useless)
Luka: (thoughts aloud) I hate this place I hate my life and I have the fact I can’t rely on my mum and dad like every one else can with their mum and dad (he then reluctantly sits down because there is nothing he can do)
Teacher: I wonder where your mum and dad are Luka ( he says a bit worried now getting up from his desk)
Luka: Then why don’t you go home and leave me here I can look after my self until they come honestly I can ( he says very hopefully that he would be left alone)
Teacher: No I can’t do that its against school rules and policy (he says almost like a robot as he recites the rule to Luka) all children must be accompanied by a teacher when they are in the school.
Luka: Fine then have it your way if you want to say here all night you can, whatever (saying this getting frustrated)
Teacher: There probably just stuck in traffic now are you ok Luka seem to of become very angry lately (saying this in a concerned way)
Luka: NO I HAVENT (he says yelling and he starts to shake)
Teacher: Luka what’s wrong you are shaking (he says running to Luka and Luka jumps back)
Luka: LEAVE ME ALONE.
Teacher: (Thoughts aloud) I know there’s something wrong but if he does not tell me I cant help,
Conclusion: Luka has become very angry probably because of his parents he just want to be alone but at the same time he knows he needs help he sees all his friends with their parents and wonders why him. He wants to love them but he is scared to, his parents are not like his friends parents they are cruel to him. He is getting increasingly angry and feels if he does not get help he will turn out like his parents. He maybe getting more frustrated because he dose not know where to turn to get help he does not want to be disloyal to his mum and dad by telling on them even thought it is clear they do not love him.